Yes, no, I don't know!

I've changed my blog! Title, background, you know, the fun stuff.  I got bored and decided this needed to be updated. There's a good chance it will change again soon as I was having issues deciding which background I liked....

I've started buying everything I think I need to take with me to Guyana.  At this point I'm only slightly worried that everything won't fit and my luggage will be too big/heavy and I'm sure as it gets closer to the time to actually start packing I'll worry more about this.  Getting ready to go is rough. I'm already going through the 'Yes, no, I don't know!'s of packing. I don't know where my permanent site is going to be or if I'll have running water/electricity there, so I feel the need to take everything that I might need if I don't have the general comforts of life in the U.S. (ie running water/electricity)  with me. Though, in truth, when applying for PC I didn't really expect to be going somewhere with those luxuries. Or internet access.  I pictured myself in a mud hut in the African bush, but if you give me the option of having electricity and running water or not, well, I'm probably going to chose to have them, though it would definitely be interesting to live without for 2 years.

I go shopping every 2 weeks and promptly run out like the shopaholic I may be to spend just about my entire paycheck.  This needs to stop.  I might need stuff to take with me, and there are still some necessities (bathing suit, bug spray, anti-itch, cream, you get my drift) that I need to buy.  But I need to save money so I actually have some when I get there, can travel, and go on vacation.  Otherwise I really will have to subsist, food, vacations, and all, on my Peace Corps stipend.  That's fine when in country and in my community, I really am going to try to live off of it and live like the locals.  But I know myself well enough to know that I'm going to not only want, but most likely need a vacation out of country.  On a nice beach somewhere, just to relax.  Unless I want trek through the jungle and camp for my vacation, which is also a possibility.  Chances are, I'm going to want to do both: trek and beach. Perhaps, if I have electricity, I'll get internet or a refrigerator.  Which will surely cost money.  So the spending needs to stop. And I plan to stop spending, really, I do.  My next paycheck will pay off my credit card (YAY!) and be the last one I use totally for buying stuff to take with me. Seriously, I'm not going to have room for or want to lug around everything I've already bought anyway.

For my friends who are thinking of coming to visit, well, you may be 'roughing it' a bit compared to American standards, but there are things to see and do to make up for it. Like visit Kaieteur Falls, the largest single drop waterfall in the world. And yes, I really do want you to come visit, hence the pretty picture :-)

The fact that the temperature in my house usually hovers around 59, which, for me, is way to cold, makes me even more excited to get to Guyana!  The volunteers who are there now have also been super helpful with answering questions and making Guyana seem like an awesome place to be, so shout out to them! Time is really flying.  This holidays make time seem to go so much faster and I feel like I'm going to be leaving for staging before I know it.  It's going to sneak up on me, like a spider in the dark, but less terrifying....I hope....

Things I'm enjoying and going to miss later: getting clothes straight out of the dryer, all nice and toasty warm, and putting them on...MmMmm warm....Grapes. Oh, how I'm going to miss grapes...Is it possible they have grapes in Guyana...? Something to look into....

I came across the Prayer of St. Francis recently and though I know I've heard it before, this time it struck me differently.  I don't think I'd ever really paid much attention to it before, but I'm going to do what someone else I know does everyday. Read it. It's motivational and helps me to remember what I want to do with my life and why I do the things I do.  Now, the church I've been volunteering at is a Franciscan church.  And most of the volunteers, including Yanil, who I teach with, are all part of Franciscan organization.

How I haven't heard this prayer in the last few months or made the connection between them and St. Francis and this prayer, I don't know. For those of you who don't know, I'm not particularly religious. That's not to say I don't have religion, or spirituality, or faith.  I just don't practice religion in the traditional sense.  This prayer really makes sense to me, and I'm going to remind myself of it daily so that I can strive to be more positive in my daily lifeand to be inspired by its meaning.

Prayer of St. Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love.

Where there is injury, pardon.

Where there is doubt, faith.

Where there is despair, hope.

Where there is darkness, light.

Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive.

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.